Episode 1. Suddenly Ninjas

It was crazy. So today started out like any other day. I woke up, got ready for work, I couldn’t find my wallet so I took the house key of the car key ring and left to go to work. So I get to work and sit down. I take a few calls then SUDDENLY NINJAS!

They were everywhere! Attacking from all sides! They swung their ninjatos and nun-chukka at me with wild fury, I had to quickly answer all the questions of the agent I was talking to then leap off the phone. I didn’t even have time to tell the agent to have a nice day!

Ninjas were everywhere! One came at me with the look of death in his eyes. His ninjato was honed to a razor edge so sharp that it could cut space and time. He slashed at me and missed but the blade sliced a whole in the reality matrix and sent me and many ninjas back to 1776! It was crazy! There I teamed up with George Washington and together we were able to slay many ninjas. MANY NINJAS!

Then another ninja tore a hole through space-time again and sent me, the ninjas AND George Washington hurtling through limbo at ten times the speed of light! We fought in the black nothingness of the vortex then finally was sent to 1000 BC! Egyptians were everywhere!

Unlike the last time where I had found an ally in General Washington (he had not become president then) the ninjas had found an ally in the Egyptians! Egyptians and ninjas fought us like fury unleashed. Their blades and weapons swung through the air with all the rage of a thousand nations. I was able to wrench free a blade from one of the fallen ninajs and cut my own hole through the universe.

Washington and I jumped through the portal and were quickly followed by ninjas an Egyptians. I had carefully planned my space-time jump carefully and skillfully appeared on the  pirate ship of the dreaded Blackbeard the Pirate! Everyone knows that pirates are the natural predators of the ninja. The battle that ensued was like none that had ever occurred and none that shall ever happen again.

The pirates and ninjas fought each other to the last man. Cutlass clashed against ninjato and bullet ricocheted off shuriken. The Egyptians were still fixed on Washington and I but we made quick work of them. After all the Egyptians had been felled Washington and I started to turn to assist the pirates but they seemed to have everything handled. We pulled up a couple of lawn chairs and sipped on some Bud Light Limes and enjoy the sunshine and the bloodbath.

The ninjas didn’t last long and shortly after their demise Blackbeard himself thanked Washington and I for bringing such adventure to him and his crew. He gave us a king’s weight in gold and sent us on our way.

I quickly tore a hole in reality and took Washington back to 1776 where he used the gold given by Blackbeard to fund the American Revolution.

After that I traveled to my own time, back to work, and pondered the fantastic adventure I just encountered. All the while I was wary because you never know when; SUDDENLY NINJAS!