A River of Blood

I am Cory Goyer. I am not normal. Heck I'm probably as far from normal as one can get. I guess it really depends on your viewpoint of normal. But the fact of the matter is I am Cory Goyer.

I am a protector. I am a fixer. I am finder. I am a helper. These are my natures, these are my instincts.

I am a protector. I want to help those who cannot help themselves. I want to protect those I love. Even at the cost of my own life, or my own happiness. I want to see those I care about happy and healthy and would do anything possible to make sure that happens. I would rather bleed a river of blood than see you spill one drop. I have been blessed with strength and courage. So I must protect those I love. It is my nature, my instinct.

I am a fixer. I try to fix those who are broken or bent. People break. People break people. I try to fix the broken. If they have a broken heart or a broken mind. If they just cannot continue the way they are... I try to fix them. I have been broken many times, and I have been fixed many times. So I try to fix people like a have been fixed. I am a fixer. It is my nature, my instinct.

I am a finder. I try to seek out those who are lost. I try to find those who cannot find their own way. Lost in emotions, pain, hate, anger, sadness. I try to find them and bring them back. Those who are lost must be found, found and brought back to the light. I have been lost so many times. Brought back to the light by the love of my God. So it makes me want to help find those who are lost, and bring them to His great love. It is my nature, my instinct.

I am a helper. When I see someone attempting to do something, and fail, I instantly try to help them. Try to help them complete what they set out to do. Help them finish what they started. I have failed so many times. I have received so much help. From those who love me. So naturally I try to help those I love. It is my nature, my instinct.


These are my natures and instincts, amplified by God's movement in my life. He has taken that which is natural for me to do and made them an even stronger desire. I want to protect, fix, find and help for God and for His purposes. This is why I want to go to the Cezech Republic is to help those there who do not know the love of Christ. I want to ge find them and fix them and protect them and help them.


But my greatest strength is also my strongest weakness.


These are my instincts, which means I do them naturally without hesitaion or question. Which gets me in a lot of trouble. There are people out there who do not want to be proctected. They believe they can do everything on their own. By themselves. With no help from anyone else. The believe that by needing protection it means they, themselves, are weak. But that is far from the truth. Many times those I protect also protect me. By protecting each other we can watch each other's backs and keep each other safe. But by my nature I try to protect these people, and problems arise because of it. There are people who do not want to be fixed. They are bent and broken but the thought of being healed seems unreachable or unwanted. The somehow find peace in their misery and joy in the sorrow. They would rather stay broken than get fixed. I try to help them, fix them, but they don't want it. There are those who don't want to be found. They hide in the darkness. They would rather stay lost than be found. I try to find them, and they don't like that. There are those who don't want help. No matter how difficult their task is or how many times they fail they don't want the help of others. I try to hel[ them, they hate me for it.

I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm probably as far from perfect as you can get. In many ways I fail. In many ways I'm immature. But these are my instincts. My natures. I do these automatically. I want to help people. That is proabably why the two things I want to do with my life is become a physical therapist and become a missionary. To help people. But I know I'm flawed and even my best intentions don't always have the best results. Sometimes I try to protect those who don't need it. Fix those who aren't broken. Find those who aren't lost. Help those who don't need it. That is one of my flaws.

So the truth is I will probably try to protect you. Probably try to fix you. Probably try to find you. Probably try to help you. Just a warning.

I am Cory Goyer. Child of God and disciple of Christ. And I pray He uses me as He sees fit and not how I see fit. I am Cory Goyer.

Rabies Happens.

I, Cory James Goyer, leader of the Warthog Rebellion and Champion of the Lost Waters, have come up with arguably the greatest idea of this century: Rabies Happens.

Ok, ok, ok. So you start with a t-shirt. YUP! A t-shirt. And on the front of the t-shirt you write: Rabies Happens

Then you have some options. You can either leave it just like that or you can put up a picture of like a rabid crzy squirrel or a sea monkey foaming at the mouth or something. You know something awesome!!!

So what you do then is you wear the shirt!!! YUP! You wear it!!! And while you wear it you wait. Patiently wait. Like a waiting tiger or frog or something. Waiting for the time... TO STRIKE!!!!

See you wait for someone to ask "Hey! Hey you! You with the face! What is that shirt about?"

AND THAT I WHEN YOU ATTACK!!!

See at the point in time you bite them and run!

See then they have no idea wether or not you actually have rabies! They will be all confused and stuff. Thinking to themselves: should I go get checked out to see if I have rabies? What the heck was that guy's problem? What would rabies feel like? Am I really a cat?

So that is my wonderful idea. Once you confuse everyone in the world the whole earth will be in chaos! Then you can rise as a protector of the innocent!!!

HUZZAH!

Angels and Demons

Angels and demons. I have often wondered what they look like. What they act like. What would it be like to actually meet an angel? Do the have long flowing white gowns? Do they really have beautiful white wings? Are they beautiful? Or are the God's warriors? And then what about demons? Do they have horns? Fangs? Twisted, messed up beings from hell? Or are they simply fallen angels whose alligence is with the dark one instead of our Saviour? I often wonder...



But then I realize I have seen both angels and demons. Good and evil. Black and white.



I have seen angels in my family, freinds and loved ones. I have seen angels in the hearts of those I care about and those who care about me. I have seen angels in good deeds gone unoticed. In the actions of those who thought they were not being watched. I have seen angels in the words of a kind mentor or a dear friend. I have seen angels in God's creation, as a sunrise peeks over the Rocky Mountians and mist lightly kisses your skin with a touch of autumn's chill. Ladies and gentlemen I have seen angels.

But I have also seen demons.

Demons. I have seen demons in my pride. I have seen demons in my anger. In my unwillingness to follow my Lord and Savioour. I have seen demons in the harmful things I say, even to those I care about the most. I have seen demons in wrongful actions towards those whom I claim to love... I have seen demons, in almost everything I do.

Within me are two forces: what I want, and what God wants. I fight Him at every turn, push Him at every pull, run from Him with every step. Do I enjoy this? No. Certainly not. But I do it nevertheless. Even though I try to submit, try to give up my will for the will of God... It is hard. So damn hard. It is like cutting off a maimed hand knowing that once you do it would be healed and better than ever. Even though you know that by obeying your hand would be stronger than it has ever been, you can't seem to cut it off... You may ask why I use an example such as that. "But Cory, that is just disgusting and wrong! Who in their right mind would cut off their own hand? It would be painful! That has nothing to do with giving your will to God!" Wrong. To give up one's will is painful. It is not an easy task. The world asks the question you just asked: "Who in their right mind would give up what they want for what God wants?" In order to follow God you must cut out your own desires, for God's desires are pure and holy. To rip them from your very heart is painful and crazy. But in the end your hand is healed.

Now of course I am not perfect. In fact I am probably as far from perfect as a man can get. I have not succesfully given every part of my life to God. But I am trying. I am learing. And every little piece I give to Him has been renewed and made stronger than ever.

I would like to end my first blog, ladies and gentlemen, with a request for your prayers. Prayers that I can give everything to my God and hold nothing back.

This is my life and my time to become Cory Goyer: Disciple of Christ.