Angels and Demons

Angels and demons. I have often wondered what they look like. What they act like. What would it be like to actually meet an angel? Do the have long flowing white gowns? Do they really have beautiful white wings? Are they beautiful? Or are the God's warriors? And then what about demons? Do they have horns? Fangs? Twisted, messed up beings from hell? Or are they simply fallen angels whose alligence is with the dark one instead of our Saviour? I often wonder...



But then I realize I have seen both angels and demons. Good and evil. Black and white.



I have seen angels in my family, freinds and loved ones. I have seen angels in the hearts of those I care about and those who care about me. I have seen angels in good deeds gone unoticed. In the actions of those who thought they were not being watched. I have seen angels in the words of a kind mentor or a dear friend. I have seen angels in God's creation, as a sunrise peeks over the Rocky Mountians and mist lightly kisses your skin with a touch of autumn's chill. Ladies and gentlemen I have seen angels.

But I have also seen demons.

Demons. I have seen demons in my pride. I have seen demons in my anger. In my unwillingness to follow my Lord and Savioour. I have seen demons in the harmful things I say, even to those I care about the most. I have seen demons in wrongful actions towards those whom I claim to love... I have seen demons, in almost everything I do.

Within me are two forces: what I want, and what God wants. I fight Him at every turn, push Him at every pull, run from Him with every step. Do I enjoy this? No. Certainly not. But I do it nevertheless. Even though I try to submit, try to give up my will for the will of God... It is hard. So damn hard. It is like cutting off a maimed hand knowing that once you do it would be healed and better than ever. Even though you know that by obeying your hand would be stronger than it has ever been, you can't seem to cut it off... You may ask why I use an example such as that. "But Cory, that is just disgusting and wrong! Who in their right mind would cut off their own hand? It would be painful! That has nothing to do with giving your will to God!" Wrong. To give up one's will is painful. It is not an easy task. The world asks the question you just asked: "Who in their right mind would give up what they want for what God wants?" In order to follow God you must cut out your own desires, for God's desires are pure and holy. To rip them from your very heart is painful and crazy. But in the end your hand is healed.

Now of course I am not perfect. In fact I am probably as far from perfect as a man can get. I have not succesfully given every part of my life to God. But I am trying. I am learing. And every little piece I give to Him has been renewed and made stronger than ever.

I would like to end my first blog, ladies and gentlemen, with a request for your prayers. Prayers that I can give everything to my God and hold nothing back.

This is my life and my time to become Cory Goyer: Disciple of Christ.