A River of Blood

I am Cory Goyer. I am not normal. Heck I'm probably as far from normal as one can get. I guess it really depends on your viewpoint of normal. But the fact of the matter is I am Cory Goyer.

I am a protector. I am a fixer. I am finder. I am a helper. These are my natures, these are my instincts.

I am a protector. I want to help those who cannot help themselves. I want to protect those I love. Even at the cost of my own life, or my own happiness. I want to see those I care about happy and healthy and would do anything possible to make sure that happens. I would rather bleed a river of blood than see you spill one drop. I have been blessed with strength and courage. So I must protect those I love. It is my nature, my instinct.

I am a fixer. I try to fix those who are broken or bent. People break. People break people. I try to fix the broken. If they have a broken heart or a broken mind. If they just cannot continue the way they are... I try to fix them. I have been broken many times, and I have been fixed many times. So I try to fix people like a have been fixed. I am a fixer. It is my nature, my instinct.

I am a finder. I try to seek out those who are lost. I try to find those who cannot find their own way. Lost in emotions, pain, hate, anger, sadness. I try to find them and bring them back. Those who are lost must be found, found and brought back to the light. I have been lost so many times. Brought back to the light by the love of my God. So it makes me want to help find those who are lost, and bring them to His great love. It is my nature, my instinct.

I am a helper. When I see someone attempting to do something, and fail, I instantly try to help them. Try to help them complete what they set out to do. Help them finish what they started. I have failed so many times. I have received so much help. From those who love me. So naturally I try to help those I love. It is my nature, my instinct.


These are my natures and instincts, amplified by God's movement in my life. He has taken that which is natural for me to do and made them an even stronger desire. I want to protect, fix, find and help for God and for His purposes. This is why I want to go to the Cezech Republic is to help those there who do not know the love of Christ. I want to ge find them and fix them and protect them and help them.


But my greatest strength is also my strongest weakness.


These are my instincts, which means I do them naturally without hesitaion or question. Which gets me in a lot of trouble. There are people out there who do not want to be proctected. They believe they can do everything on their own. By themselves. With no help from anyone else. The believe that by needing protection it means they, themselves, are weak. But that is far from the truth. Many times those I protect also protect me. By protecting each other we can watch each other's backs and keep each other safe. But by my nature I try to protect these people, and problems arise because of it. There are people who do not want to be fixed. They are bent and broken but the thought of being healed seems unreachable or unwanted. The somehow find peace in their misery and joy in the sorrow. They would rather stay broken than get fixed. I try to help them, fix them, but they don't want it. There are those who don't want to be found. They hide in the darkness. They would rather stay lost than be found. I try to find them, and they don't like that. There are those who don't want help. No matter how difficult their task is or how many times they fail they don't want the help of others. I try to hel[ them, they hate me for it.

I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm probably as far from perfect as you can get. In many ways I fail. In many ways I'm immature. But these are my instincts. My natures. I do these automatically. I want to help people. That is proabably why the two things I want to do with my life is become a physical therapist and become a missionary. To help people. But I know I'm flawed and even my best intentions don't always have the best results. Sometimes I try to protect those who don't need it. Fix those who aren't broken. Find those who aren't lost. Help those who don't need it. That is one of my flaws.

So the truth is I will probably try to protect you. Probably try to fix you. Probably try to find you. Probably try to help you. Just a warning.

I am Cory Goyer. Child of God and disciple of Christ. And I pray He uses me as He sees fit and not how I see fit. I am Cory Goyer.