Let Them Sleep

Words. I love words. To manipulate words in order to portray a thought or message. Simply amazing. I love words so so much.

But why do I let words get in the way? Or why do I let the escape me?

Words can be so powerful. So beautiful. So amazing. Yet at the same time so destructible and violent.

Why can't I ever say what I want? Is it manners? Is it the fear of hurting others? Or the fear of being rejected? Why can't I tell you what I really want to tell you?

Like you. I want to tell you so many things. Starting with I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I'm sorry for what I did. I put so much focus on all the wrongs things. I told you things you didn't need to know. I did things that didn't need to be done. We have both suffered because I messed up. And I'm sorry.

And you. I don't like you. I think you are cocky and immature. I think the way you handled things with her was wrong. you treated her poorly and made her feel like crap. So I really don't like you.

And you. How could you do what you did to me? Honestly? To make me think one way for so long then to drop it like a hot rock? I don't know about you but that hurt me. A lot. And then what you did after. To add insult to injury. I don't know when I'll recover from that. How could you?

And you. Gosh I care about you so much. So, so much. I just wish you could see that. All I want is for you to live the best life you can. And I'm so worried that the people you place yourself around won't give you that life. I'm so afraid that those you chase after will only hurt you again and again. I just want the best for you. But you don't seem to want the best for yourself.

And you. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve what I did to you. you are a good person. And I know I cut you deep. I wish I could take it back.

So many things I want to say. I wish I could add names to these statements. But I can't. For some reason or another I'm afraid of these words. I want to say what i want to say but I know I can't. It is sometimes better to let sleeping dogs lie.

I love words, but I also hate them. I hate their ability to destroy. I wish I didn't even want to say these things. But I do. But I don't.

Just another confusing pointless blog by me. I am Cory Goyer. And don't you forget it!