The Past, Present and Whatever's Left.

Ah, the good 'ole days... It ain't like mother use to make... I remember when I was your age... Hey do you remember that time... I would give anything to go back...

I find myself using (some of) these sayings quite often. Thinking back to good times and good memories. Wishing I could re-live an event or period in my life. So many happy moments that I wish I could do just one more time...

But why? Why would I want to go back? Why would I want to re-live a happy time? Is it because I am not satisfied? Is it because I think I was happier then? Is it because I'm not happy now?

Yes. To all.

I am not satisfied. I think I was happier then. I'm not happy now.

But why? Why I am not satisfied with my life? Why do I have this thought process that I have already lived the best years of my life? Why can't I be ok with what I have now? And was I really happier then? They say hindsight is 20/20. I say that's crap. When you look back at a good time in your life that is all you tend to see. That good time. You don't take into consideration the problems you had then. The bad times that go with the good times. Hindsight is not 20/20. Not even close.

And why am I not happy now? I have an amazing family. I have an amazing life. I got a few good friends. Why can't I just enjoy life? Is it because I don't have a job? Maybe. Is it because I don't have more friends? Maybe. Is it because I don't have a girlfriend? Honestly, probably.

I gonna go out on a limb and be honest here (don't think it matters much because I don't think any even reads this silly blog). Recently I have been living like I don't have much of a future. I have been living for the past and the present. And the future is just the thing that's left over. I hate that I live like this. And I'm trying to change it.

I mean I do have a future right? DUH! My future is in Christ. And even as I write these words I have a hard time believing them. I know I have a future in Christ, but I don't feel it.

I try and try and try and it is never good enough...

Never good enough for them... Never good enough for her... Never good enough period.

So I guess I'll just have to be good enough for God. Becuase He is the only one I can ever really please.

I guess that'll be good enough for now.

I am Cory Goyer. Living for MY future IN Christ.